Humble Inquiry

The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling

Professor Schein was motivated to write this book through observing how often crises occur that could have been avoided if there had been better communication between various members of a team, particularly where there is a status differential.

Problem communication, Schein claims, starts from the cultural norm in most organisations of "fix and tell" rather than the approach he advocates, which is to "listen and inquire". We have been socialised to value knowledge and problem solving and the accomplishment of tasks over and above developing relationships. Therefore asking questions can often make us feel vulnerable or lacking in some way.

So what is humble inquiry?

“Humble inquiry is the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answers, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”

For most people this is not a natural behaviour and to learn it takes practice and intention. Questions that can be used when pursuing humble inquiry include:

• “So…?" (with an expectant look)
• “What’s happening?”
• “What’s going on?”
• “How do you see things here?”
• “Go on…”
• “Can you give me an example?”

Asking builds trust and respect

Telling, the author suggests, “puts the other person down.” Instead, Schein says that healthy relationships  – whether personal or professional – require that interactions be “equilibrated,” with give-and-take that is based on trust and mutual respect.

So in order to achieve better relationships where information is shared appropriately to the benefit of all, Schein suggests that there are three key things you can do:

• Do less telling.
• Learn to do more asking in the particular form of 'Humble Inquiry'.
• Do a better job of listening and acknowledging.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less."