Body Language

Borg reminds us that, whether we like it or not, human beings make a lot of meaning based on first impressions. People are making snap decisions as to whether they like us, trust us or want to work with us based on the initial impression we make on them.

People are more likely to believe what they see than what they hear.

The overwhelming majority of the meaning that is taken from an interaction is derived from our body language and the non-verbal aspects of what we are saying. Your impact is judged on how you look, how you sound and least of all on what you are saying.

Body language is a 2 way street

Remember, it works both ways so you need to be aware of:

1. Your own body language - the messages you are giving out
2. How to read the body language of others - so you can react appropriately

The key factors

There are two essential things to look out for when reading body language, either in yourself or in other people. Borg says that paying attention to these questions throughout your interaction will make you highly attuned to the important messages you are both transmitting and receiving. What is being displayed:

• Comfort or discomfort?
• Open or closed body language?

Some things to bear in mind

• "Closed" body language is a cluster of gestures, movements and postures that bring the body in on itself - others will instinctively feel repelled
• If a person is comfortable they exhibit "open" body language, which is welcoming, relaxed and attentive
• If somebody is positive and open, their hands are usually in view, possibly with palms open, their legs and posture are free and easy, and eye contact is good
• Ask yourself: "What signals am I sending out? Are they what I intended?"
• Are you showing signs of discomfort, boredom, fear, nervousness or hostility? The first step is to recognise negative body language that delivers the wrong message - then you can consciously change it for more positive signals.

"The average person looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, moves without physical awareness and talks without thinking."